


Twin Size Matress

by RitalinDisturbance



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 12:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12481208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RitalinDisturbance/pseuds/RitalinDisturbance
Summary: “Goodbye, Miles Kane. Thank you for everything.” Alex said and turned to walk away, closing the door behind him.Miles stood in front of it, for a couple of moments, wiping his eyes dry.“I love you.” He said to the closed door, way too late, realizing what he never realized before. So he tried to call Alex- but his phone was off, and Miles ealized that Alex was planning to go completely off the radar.And that’s when he promised himself that whatever it takes, He’ll find him.





	Twin Size Matress

**Author's Note:**

> Ok sooo this is going to be a story based on the song Twin Size Matress by The Frint Bottoms which are a really great band and I really encourage you guys to check them out :)

Miles met Alex right before he went to college, when Alex moved to his neighborhood. He was riding his bike home the last day of high school, completely out of his head with excitement, and crashed into a parking meter in front of Alex’s house.  
Alex was carrying boxes from the truck to his house when he heard the crash, and almost dropped a box on his foot, rushing to help Miles.

Alex offered Miles a hand, and he gladly took it, staggering to his feet, embarrassed, wincing at the pain.

“You okay, mate?” Alex asked him and Miles nodded, picking his bike off the ground.

“Yeah, just kind of hit my head.” He was rubbing his aching forehead with his hand, and felt a bump.

“Come, my mom will make you an ice pack.” Alex led him inside, and that’s when it all began.

Miles stayed over that afternoon, and they talked forever, discovering that they had a lot in common. They mostly just lay on Alex’s bed, looking at the ceiling and talking. It was awkward at first, of course, but it wasn’t long before they were laughing together, savoring each others company.  
Miles was used to being alone most of the time; they both were, and he was so happy that he crashed in front of Alex that night- it was probably the best mistake he’s ever made.  
They exchanged numbers that day- and that summer right before college was easily the best one Miles has ever had.  
For three months- it was just the two of them against the world, it was as if no one else existed. They took long bike rides along the river, camped in the forest without their phones around, even went ghost hunting on a particularly hazy night.

 

When the summer ended, they both were happy to get good news from Edinburgh University which they both applied for- they were both accepted.  
They studied together, as dorm roommates, and grew closer and closer every single day.   
Every night, after they’d finish their work, they’d climb on to the roof and share a cigarette, and every night they promised it would be the last.

It never was.

Things started changing. Miles noticed, for a long time- Alex never talked about girls, he didn’t seem interested in them at all. And then Miles noticed how Alex looked at boys, almost dreamingly. He had to ask him.  
It took months for him to muster up the courage to do so.

In senior year, on the night of Halloween, they drank a lot, and decided to go skinny dipping in the nearest lake. They chucked their clothes somewhere off the shore, and ran into the cold water, laughing and splashing at each other, and that’s when Miles decided, in his drunken state, that he would go for it.

“Al, are you gay?” He asked, and he remembered the look of terror on Alex’s face that he only got a glimpse of before Alex’s fist connected with his nose. He groaned and staggered to the shore, pinching his nose together. He was bleeding. He crashed on the ground, next to the pile of clothes.  
Within a couple of minutes Alex came running out of the water towards Miles, grabbing his shirt and dabbing Miles’ nose with it.

“I’m sorry, Mi.” He said, and Miles nodded.  
“It’s alright.” Miles said. How could he have been so stupid? It wasn’t ok for him to just ask it like that. He knew Alex came from a catholic home- of course he’d be ashamed. Of course it hurt him. Miles deserved to be punched- he needs to be more sensitive towards other people’s emotions. 

“I’m so sorry.” Alex said, again, before pulling his pants back on.

“I said it’s-“

“No it’s not. My god Miles, I’m so sorry.” He kept saying that, over and over again, each time his eyes glistening a little more, until finally the tears found their way out and he was crying.  
Miles quickly got dressed, and pulled Alex into an embrace. He’d never seen Alex cry before, not in the three years they’ve known each other.

“It’s ok.” He kept saying, as he was stroking Alex’s back, looking out into the blackness of the lake, and he never wanted to let go, and he promised to himself that he’ll never let anything hurt Alex this bad ever again. He doesn’t care if Alex is gay, he’s his best friend and he’d love him either way.

“It’s alright, I’m here. I’m never leaving.” He comforted Alex for a very long time that night, at least until the effects of the alcohol worn off enough for them to have a serious conversation, until Alex calmed down a little.

Alex was gay, and confused, and he could never tell his family and the pressure was almost impossible to deal with, he told Miles.

It changed from that moment, and Miles couldn’t figure out how he’d been so blind. Alex was suffering, he was so anxious; He was terrified every time he had to go home for the weekend, until one day, a little while before they were supposed to graduate, they decided, together, that Alex should come out to his parents just to get it off his chest. 

They didn’t talk at all that weekend, not until they were back in the campus. When Miles saw Alex that day, he looked like a ghost- like he had the life, or rather the will to live sucked out of him. He was ghostly white, sitting on his bed, his elbows on his knees, staring blankly into nowhere. Miles quickly locked the door to their room, throwing his suitcase on the floor and rushing to Alex’s side.

“What happened?” He asked him, and Alex just shook his head in response.

“I can’t go back.” He said simply and crawled under the covers, laying his head on his pillow. “I can’t.” He repeated, clenching his eyes shut, to maybe stop the tears.  
He seemed so broken- Miles had never seen him like that. He wished it to just go away, he wished for Alex to be happy, to be back to how he was when they were seventeen and didn’t have a care in the world.

“Al…” Miles put his hand on Alex’s shoulder.

“No, Miles. We’ll talk later. Let me sleep.” Alex said, coldly, hopelessly. Miles got up, trying to ignore the sharp twinge in his heart. He unpacked his suitcase as Alex slept, soft breaths leaving his lips. Miles savored that sight- the sight of Alex calm, and not broken, and okay. But he knew that would end as soon as Alex wakes up and comes back to real life.

He wanted to fix Alex. He wanted to fix everything.

“Miles.” Alex suddenly said. He was facing the wall, and Miles couldn’t see his face.

“Yeah?” He responded, dropping whatever he was doing at that moment.

“They threatened to send me away. To a correctional facility. My mom disowned me.” He was talking blankly, without any emotion in his voice. “When I argued with her, my dad hit me.” He turned over to lie on his back, looking at the ceiling.

“I want to die, Mi. I just want to fucking disappear.” He closed his eyes, and Miles could barely contain all of the information. He could barely believe what he heard.  
“My mom told me that she hope I spend the rest of my life alone on a twin size mattress.” Alex’s voice was cutting sharply through the quiet air.

Miles crouched down beside Alex’s bed, and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“We’ll figure this out, okay? I promise.” Alex turned to look at him, without nodding, or shaking his head, or saying anything. His big brown eyes dancing around Miles features, at least for a few minutes before he got up and off the bed.

“I’m taking a shower.” He said, and left the room, leaving a vacant space, a certain group of air that was missing Alex’s presence.

Miles called Alex’s mom, then. They argued, for a very long time, before she hung up on him, and Miles threw his phone across the room.  
This continued for the next few days, between consoling Alex and doing his graduation project he’d call Alex’s mom.

“How dare I?! How dare you say that to your own fucking son?!” He yelled at his phone, to think he used to like her.

“The only way he’s going back here, is if he’s not like that anymore.” She said, and the line cut off. All of those conversations were practically the same.

Alex’s parents didn’t even appear on the graduation night, and as soon as Alex got his diploma he ran into the bathroom, and Miles found him hugging a toilet, his stomach spilling its contents out of stress.

“I can’t- can’t take this anymore.” He breathed out, and Miles hugged him.

“Everything will be okay. I promise.” He cooed. He’d never let anything hurt Alex that bad again. Alex leaned into him on the floor of the bathroom, closing his eyes and imagining a different life, a different universe, in which he was accepted, and everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

As they made their way home from University for the final time, Miles could barely deal with Alex, who was freaking out, and shivering, and what not. He didn’t even let Miles touch him- he said he’ll just throw up if he will. Alex was terrified of his own home and Miles just wanted to take him in his arms and shield him from the world, where nothing would hurt him.  
But Alex got off in his station, and Miles was left on the bus, looking at Alex walk on with his guitar on his back and his head hung low, before he disappeared behind the row of houses.

Alex hasn’t been answering any of his calls the next few days. Miles tried to forget, he tried to convince himself that everything was okay, that Alex just needed some time to think. But he couldn’t- he couldn’t get Alex out of his head. When he was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, all he could picture was Alex’s furrowed eyebrows, and the bags under his eyes, and the pain in his chest.

And then, on a Saturday night at about two am, there was a knock on his door.  
Miles opened it, to reveal a very beat down looking Alex.  
He was pale, and he looked tired, and he was holding a big bag in his hands.

He had a black eye.

“Al?” Miles said, more so to make sure that he wasn’t imagining. 

Alex stepped into the house and threw his bag on the ground.

“What’s going on?” Miles asked him, stepping closer, grabbing Alex’s arm. Alex moved his gaze from the ground to Miles’ face.

“I’m leaving, Mi.” He said. “I can’t be here anymore.” Miles was violently shaking his head.

“No, no. Hey, just stay with me, please?” He was practically begging.

“No.” Alex shook his head, and that one word felt like a stab to Miles’ heart. He can’t let Alex leave, he can’t let him go, and be on the streets, alone, and far away. He needs Alex. Alex needs him. It’s just the two of them against the world.

It always has been.

“It’s too close. I can’t stay in this town. I’m going far away.”

“Please, Alex. Don’t go. Please stay.” Miles’ eyes were welling with tears, and he was grabbing Alex’s arm roughly, and he didn’t want him to go, he wanted Alex to be near, where he could protect him, where nothing would hurt him. Alex came closer and put his arms around Miles, as the other boy grabbed him hard, shielding him from all the hurt, from everything that wasn’t right if only for a few moments.  
“Stay.” Miles begged, one last time, grabbing Alex’s hair.

“I’m sorry.” Alex said and pulled away slowly, then went to take his bag and slowly pushed Miles’ hand away when he tried to touch him. “I love you Mi, but there’s no way I’m staying around here.” 

He was standing in the doorway, as Miles was looking at him, the tears silently creeping their way out of his eyes.

“Goodbye, Miles Kane. Thank you for everything.” Alex said and turned to walk away, closing the door behind him.

Miles stood in front of it, for a couple of moments, wiping his eyes dry.

“I love you.” He said to the closed door, way too late, realizing what he never realized before. So he tried to call Alex- but his phone was off, and Miles realized that Alex was planning to go completely off the radar.

And that’s when he promised himself that whatever it takes, He’ll find him.


End file.
